my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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