I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
