I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
