ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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