I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
