This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
