girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
