Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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