Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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