The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
