we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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