i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
