Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
