you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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