Where did you get a picture of my penis
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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