Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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