We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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