Princesses don't give blow jobs
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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