Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
