You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
