I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
