My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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