On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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