you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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