Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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