They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
