Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
