Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
