I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
