i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
