I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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