At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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