p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
