his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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