this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
whose ass print is on the piano?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
