Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
