your room smells of hookers.
And success
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
