we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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