Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
