Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize