my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
