do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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