I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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