it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
