btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
