Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
