I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
