Will you blow on my dice?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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