This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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