i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
