his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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