she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
