Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
True but thats because hes a fetus.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize