I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
