I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
