what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
