Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
