It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
