i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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