Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
