she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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