Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
