He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
