1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize