So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She bit a glass in half.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
