apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
