ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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