I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We got so high we made milksteak
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
