Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
