I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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