I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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